STATEMENT
Purpose: The purpose of this mission statement is to create an evolving document to serve as a reference for how I plan to live. The historical roots of this document include a life of unbalance between periods or happiness and less-than-happiness, between periods of extreme growth, and periods of stagnation, between periods of excitement, and periods of dullness. It is the aim of this document to help prevent further unbalances.
Categories: Thoughts, actions, goal-setting, aim to fix
Thoughts -
Actions – food, exercise, reading, social, exploration,
Goal-setting – financial, outdoorsy, visions
Aim to fix: lack of money, out of shape, out of condition, isolated, locked indoors,
Money – money is to be budgeted first to account for basic needs of basic food, shelter, clothing, and transportation. I should plan to budget so I can go periods of time living off these basic necessities if I am in between jobs. I should plan to budget for major purchases including major travel costs, outdoor toys, electronic toys, etc. Splurging on bars, alcohol, restaurants, supermarkets, books, clothing, etc. should be avoided as often as is possible. This sacrifice will allow for extended non-working periods of travel, as well as freedom to choose the type of work I do.
Food – I should aim to eat both healthy and cheap. By planning ahead, I can avoid eating-out in most situations. The following are simple things that will allow me to do this.
Quick, cheap, easy meals:
-eggs
-oatmeal
-cereal
-pb&j
-veggie chili
-manwhich
-pasta and cheese
-bag of grapes
-bag of trail mix
-cucumbers and dressing
-oranges
-bottle of Nalgene
Career:
College kids need my help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Resume:
-defended indigent clients
-4 summers as camp counselor
-3 months at OBSA
-3 to ? months CBOBS
Resume to do:
-Outward Bound college semester courses
Projects:
-build a following
-create alliances at various levels
Service-learning.
I would like to create educational programs, that both work to temporarily alleviate social ills (depression, youth-at-risk, poverty, environmental destruction) that also educate students on the political and corporate causes of these social ills, and how we might move beyond service to end these ills.
Politics is unavoidable. Avoiding politics permits the status quo to continue, a status quo that has created these social ills.
Question: What are the true aims of Kurt Hahn’s Outward Bound?
Question:
Things to learn:
-facts about gov’t social programs
-something non-academic or a skill
-history of Iraq, Israel, Russia, China,
Dealing w/ loneliness, depression, and other psychological/personal downers:
1) I don’t know anything about anything
-it’s never too late to learn things
-the amount of knowledge you have is relative. Remember, you’ve seen and done things that may not fit into everyday conversation. In the right environment, you will realize what you know.
-keep learning, reading, asking questions
2) I’m running out of time to do everything I want to do
-keep a balance, you’ll have some periods of freedom, and some periods of stability with one thing. Make better use of your day. Make to-do lists.
3) I’m not getting to where I want to be
-you need to build relationships to people and organizations
4) I’m lonely
-that’s solo for ya…reflect, learn, seek people
5) I take life too seriously
-look for things that make you laugh or smile
6) I let relationships w/ friends and family fizzle
-find little ways to show you’re thinking of people, an e-mail, a letter
7) I have nothing to say to people on the phone
-think about 1 through 6
8) I get overly introspective in an unproductive way
-don’t forget to live. Go out, get into a book, get into a movie, get passionate about something.
9) I get mentally lost, confused, frustrated
-refer to the mission statement, dumbass!!!
10) I can’t always experience life on a high
-ask yourself, what’s keeping you from being self-actualized? Are you eating well, sleeping well, drinking water, exercising…living a healthy routine? Take care of yourself first, then you can help others.
11) There’s too much out there
-stay within yourself. Better to do what you can, to build off the foundation you’re at, than to dwell on where you’re not, and end up lowering your foundation in the process.
12) I try to sell myself as something I’m not
-we can’t be perfect all the time. Learn from your faults, and know that time after time, you’ve bounced back. When in doubt, find pleasure in something less serious.
13) Why can’t I remember things?
-write ‘em down. Read slower, take notes, focus.
14) So many times, I’m in a situation but I’m not mentally there…
-either get into the situation 100%, or ask yourself, why’d you get into the situation. You probably are doing something that’s not really what you want…be honest w/ yourself.
15) Whenever I feel upset, I want to just drink
-go have a beer, be social. You probably just need to relax and take things easy for a bit. Just don’t let alcohol become an escape, because spending money and getting drunk can often leave you feeling worse.
16) I keep wanting to go back to camp
-there might be no job with a community like summer camp. You have 2 months to bond w/ the campers, 100+ staff from all over the world to meet, low-key, pool, lake, spirit, a little Jewish culture…it’s a job that will haunt me forever. However, while it scores a 15 out of 10 for being an amazing experience, it tends to leave me unsatisfied after the fact. How many camp people have I kept in touch with? How many great friendships have I made at camp, and at other programs, only to never hear from them again? How many times at camp have I felt frustrated by the camp structure? Will I regret not going to camp all the way up till possibly mid-way through the summer…yeah, probably. But, in the long-term, I may find an equal love for another program. Would another 3 months at Outward Bound South Africa have been as exciting to me as going to camp? Possibly. Wasn’t I dreading going to camp once I had committed to it, because I was realizing that I could be doing other things. Yes.
17) Which brings me to #17. I keep wanting to do something, but once I’ve locked in plans to do it, I get scared that I could be doing something else.
Commitment problems? Maybe you can call it that. Dreams are sexier than reality…so if I know I’m not going to camp, for example, I have dreams of camp. If I know I’m going to camp, the dream goes away, and I view it in terms of what it really is. So…how do I make decisions when reality is skewed by images created in dreams? Maybe I need to think more about reality…what will it be like when I’m actually doing this job? Visualize dreams in a real sense, both good and bad. Just remember, the rush from camp can be found in other places.
18) What am I doing with my life?
Think back six months. What were you doing? What did you know? Now…think back one year. What were you doing then? What did you know? You’re growing, that’s what you’re doing. You’re on a moving train, whether you’re moving physically or not. Think about the destination and course you want to take, but don’t just jump off the train and stop living right now. Now…get off your ass and go live!!!
19) I often think my view on life is right, and compare myself to others?
Open your eyes, and see what they’re lives are all about. See what experiences they’ve had to make them the person they are. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN ANYONE. Don’t judge or compare. The only race is with yourself.
20) Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say, especially on the phone. Then…I start thinking that what the other person is saying isn’t important.
Maybe it’s not important to you, but it’s important to somebody, in the same way that whatever else you want to talk about, may not be interesting to that person. You need to find ways to relate to people with different interests in life. And, you need to find people who are in fact interested in what you’re interested in, so you have people to talk to and you don’t turn into a hermit.
21) I turn into physical sloth when I’m not involved w/ something to get in shape for.
Well…from this day onwards, till death even, you are someone who is concerned with their physical health. Do something, anything, for a minimum of 30minutes per day. Walk, run, push-ups, sit-ups, stretch. Do something dedicated to your physical well-being. Work towards losing your belly, and being able to run distances and do pull-ups. These are the minimum things to being an Outward Bound instructor, and a life-time of fitness.
22) I waste the day doing nothing, or just waiting for something to happen, or reading sites but getting nothing out of it.
Start making to do lists. Create projects to work on. If all else fails, get out of the house, go for a walk, dive into a book or a cd.
23) I’m not sure what direction I’m heading in. I can’t tell if I need to jump through certain hoops in life and I just don’t want to, or if I’m creating hoops for myself that don’t need to be jumped through.
OK…this one needs to be resolved. Let’s sit at the table, and sort this out. This is really at the core of my unhappiness right now, and its compounded by all the other factors in my life right now.
First of all…know that you’re right about so many things regarding education. Think what it’s like to be Michael Moore, knowing Bush is an idiot, making a movie, and not realizing your goal. The thing is, Moore was actually able to make an imprint to change things. Right now…I’m not. That’s discouraging.
Things will change once you get connected to the right people. Fuck AASCU. Fuck Wash U. But, what if it’s not Outward Bound, after all, you sent out those books and got 0 feedback. I can’t stand being completely ignored by the people who should be listening to what I have to say.
So…in the midst of all this, I’m thinking, am I still on a course to change things, or am I spending a life in the weeds? The temptation is to do something purely mundane, because the opposite is what I’ve been trying to do, doing something 100% meaningful to society. I want to just buzz off to Australia, and pick cherries, and have the only problem be picking enough cherries, and thoughts of what was wrong w/ America to fade away.
Besides…there’s a million problems to address in the world. Maybe there’s a farm in New Zealand that needs help. I need to be doing something sexy, and I’m afraid that I’ve lost that focus, and am just taking whatever is available.
Right now…all I have lined up is Outward Bound Baltimore. Is that going to move me forward? Is that going to quench what’s leaving me unfulfilled?
So…what would fulfill me?
1) I want to be influential
2) I want to be able to influence how people live their lives
3) I want to influence the culture of education
4) I want to have the power for my ideas to be taken into serious consideration
5) I want to do exciting things in the outdoors and around the world
OK…now we’re getting somewhere.
So, can we settle on 6-months with Outward Bound Baltimore?
1) It’s your friggin’ foot in the door of an amazing internationally respected organization.
2) You have ideas to bring to the table, now you gotta put in some time and build relationships.
3) Think of the possibilities…you’re connected to the Baltimore Public school system. Here’s another platform for your ideas and writings.
4) You get bogged down by names. Just remember Toad The Wet Sprocket, you assume they play one kind of music, then discover you actually have heard their stuff and love it. Think of “The Perks of Being a Wallflower,” it’s an instant classic. Remember how scary the first week at OBSA was. It’s cold feet, it’s something new. Say it, “I’m going to be an instructor at Chesapeake Bay Outward Bound.” Get comfortable w/ the name, that’s all it is, a name. Once you’re there, it’s going to feel like home. Just like St. Louis, camp, OBSA, Jon’s apartment, even ESPN zone has begun to feel like home. Know that
5) Start thinking like an Outward Bound instructor. Remember when that job title was prestigious. Start getting your shit together, so you can fulfill that role.
6) Before you know it, 6-months will pass. Before you know it, it’ll be fall and you can travel, but you’ll have 2 more seasons of OB experience under your belt.
7) You need something to define you. Writing a book. Traveling. Bring those identities with you. You’re going to be an Outward Bound instructor who has already written a book, traveled, and after gaining some more experience, is going to travel some more.
8) This is the practical step. You need to get back in with Outward Bound, and this is the most convenient way. After this…you’ll have the opportunity to try out all the other Outward Bound schools. After this, you’ll have worked at one of the few urban Outward Bound schools. This also fits in with your plans. You did your book thing for 3-6 months, now you do Outward Bound for 3-6 months, you’ll save up money, and should be free to travel next fall and winter for 3-6 months. Just imagine what next fall could be. You won’t be doing a book tour. You’ll have already put in the time you’re doing now of trying to forge your ideas alone, and actually learning a lot in the process. But come next fall, you can focus 3-6 months of leisure traveling. You can focus 3 months on traveling, and 3 months at some other cool program.
9) Besides insurance, which we need to start figuring out, the seasonal lifestyle is perfect. When the time comes to change, to do something for a year, we’ll change. But we’re not there yet, and that’s ok. It’s ok to micromanage life, rather than trying to predict what I need to be doing in 3+ years. Do what feels right now.
10) Remember what came out of 3-months of OBSA. Just think what can be accomplished in 6-months. Just think, if you didn’t come back to camp last summer, you wanted to stay on with OBSA.
11) It’s natural to feel comfortable where you are. Why would you want to be back in the field, at a new place, a new program, in a city you’re not terribly excited about? Once you’re there, look back at #1-10 and see how they fit in. Be prepared to get excited about things you never thought about now.
12) You’re not like most field instructors so far. Most haven’t thought about the things you’ve thought about. You’ve always been interested in things deeper than instructing. This is a chance to get recognized for that.
24) Feeling like a smudge on a skyscraper-window. I’m so small, know so little. – This is just one more negative feeling that is a distraction from learning. In fact…if you read through #1-23, you’ll probably realize that the answers are there. Learn from yourself. Use the wisdom you’ve accumulated throughout your life.
25) I’m smart one person on paper, and another in person – Re-read things, let things absorb, make sure you’re building and not re-hashing the same thoughts.
26) Observe things. Take note of what you see, take note of what you think. Imagine the day you're running an organization, and imagine thousands of people going to your site to see how you go to where you are, all your thoughts and actions. Let that be your purpose. | 